We having big fight last 2 nights. Until today, even though we look okay, but internally deep down my heart, I'm the only one who knows. Scared, sad...I even can crying remembering that few minutes of fighting :( I blame the facts that most of the divorce case less than 5 years of marriage is money. And I have to admit that facts now.
Yes, all about money. Even though we are not that rich, our income is only for daily routine cost. Food, Yamin & work. All in 1. FUN sometimes, but not really FUN. If let say we go one place, we cannot do something else there due of money.
I wish I'll never complaint. I just hope that I'm a person who always keep quite, less talking...I really am. But I've being carrying this body, this personality since last 30 years, how am i gong to change? Sometimes I understand and back off, but some other times, I'll be chilling like hells, hoping that financially we will be better. Unfortunately, this is not happening, yeah..at least yet! I've scared for the same situation for next few years, will cause burden for my whole life :(
But I love him, really I am. I know no one better than him. And I need to change most everything 'on' me.
To my husband :
I'm so sorry, but I love u
I didn't know, I know now that I need you
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